Wednesday, March 16, 2011

name that tune.

I have 3 daughters. 
One is getting ready to start high school. 
Which seems impossible. 
And admittedly I'm a little choked up.
I have some very good & some very harsh memories of that time in my life..
Don't most of us? 
I am so grateful every single day that my kids have different everything than I had. 
And lets face it, the world is harsh. 
Girls are mean. 
Boys live in a crazy mix of ego/image/hormones & culture.
HOWEVER. Some things never change.
like how you aspire for your child to have better than you.....

I'll assume, you've heard the song. 
Just the way you are.

EVERY SINGLE TIME I hear it, all I can do is pray that whomever is the one that catches the eye of my daughters this is exactly how they feel about them. 
To love them just exactly the way they are. They are amazing. Their smiles. Their lips. Their laughs. They are so beautiful. Never ask them to change. 
There are days when I just stare at them in awe. I am so blessed to be their momma. I almost can't even type because they feel so differently about themselves than I did. And it is the most precious thing in the world! 
It starts with God. They know Him & He knows them. 
And then there is their Daddy, who adores, loves on them all the time. Jokes. Hugs. Snuggles. He's an amazing Daddy. 
I am so utterly grateful despite all the trial & ERRORS that for almost 15 years I've stayed home & gotten to raise this crew. There are amazing moms that both work & are fabulous moms, and I admire them so much, but this is my task & I belong home. Partially because, lets face it. 5?! And even still despite that, we weighted the cost & options a long time ago...without any help around (like family or hired in) it would be impossible. And I love it. Everyday. Even on the bad days. 

It is a task above all else. Mothering. Its heartbreaking. Rewarding in nothing you can see at the moment. 
Draining in every way. 
I was pregnant or nursing for a decade. 
let that settle in for sec
I miss those little ones so much! But my home & my heart are full! I love my children beyond anything I can describe, all equally but also somehow differently. 
With my eldest almost looking me in the eyes these days...(which is crazy because I'm tall!)
It has brought so much of how little time I've had with her, to teach, model, cherish, encourage, guide...
But the other day a letter came. 
Not an ordinary letter. 
Her acceptance into a very prestigious & amazing high school. She hasn't made her final decision yet, but...
when I read the letter. It all came flooding in....somehow the things I did teach, model, encourage & hopefully cherish were seen. The school took the time to really get to know my girl. Her strengths & what she would offer their school as well as what they can offer her. The most amazing thing to finally see all those things we've tried to pour into her, are there & someone recognized it. Your an amazing person, beautiful just the way you are.

She's so beautiful
And I'll love you everyday.